If you are reading this, it means that I am dead,
Never cried like that –
I read your e-mail
My heart dropped
I fell to my knees
I crumbled into disbelief
I sunk into immediate grief
The earth swallowed me whole
A knife pierced my heart
Profound infinite sadness hit me like a concrete wall
Left with nothing but drifting reasons
I knew about the turmoil
I knew about second chances
I knew about faults
and I knew about the haunts
I knew about the abyss, the loss, the lost
I knew about the frost that freezes you solid
I knew about the contemplations
The methods
and
The great deep gorge
All else hidden from my position in the inner circle
I knew about the torture
I knew about the pain
I knew about the struggle
The love
The lack of love
The fighting
The understanding
The diagnosis
The family
The torn pieces
The excess of judgement
I knew about the self-destruction
I knew about the fixation
I knew about the desperation
The mourning of the day
The false prophecies
The agony
The self
I read your e-mail
Which path will you choose?
Another statistic?
Perhaps the footsteps of the Leporidae?
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.22.20.30.00@NYC
16-21, 16-08
I first met her at 21
It wasn’t until later that she was at 8
Her eyes opened as soon as I arrived
She looked abysmally beautiful
I was right,
the calendar was incorrect
the hourglass was misguided
the orbit of the planet was wrong
I remember the last time I saw her
Taken away for corrections
Freely volunteered
Escaping reality
I treasured her even more
A shooting star in the darkness of night
A double rainbow hugging the horizon
A diamond in the forgotten quarry
A four-leaf clover undiscovered
A pearl in the deepest oyster
A hand in my hand
She is my forever recipient
To everything I have to give
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.21.10.00.00@424E34NYC
The Hardest Part
Seeing her on the gurney being wheeled away
Departing when she was alone most
Nothing I could do
But guide her crying mother back to the waiting area
Said my goodbyes in the prep room
You are never ready for that quick goodbye
Eyes locked, arms embracing, a hug, a kiss
As if the goodbye was good luck
As if the goodbye was more of a “See you later.”
As if the goodbye was a hope, not a last
-
The static white noise
The constant inconsistent beeps
The helicopters outside the window
The air conditioner breeze drying out eyes
The competing sounds battle for my attention
The bright lights dim but never shut off completely
Everything is so sterile
Everything is so new and clean
Everything is so modern and technically advanced
The competitive claim to extra pillows
The wake up when she wakes up technique
The staff is so friendly when she’s so drowsy or awake
We slept in the same room
So near and yet so far apart
We both had movable devices we slept upon
We both had sheets
We both had scars
She had a call button
I had my confident serenity
No complaints about eating
She finished her apple sauce
I finished her mashed potatoes
-
Seeing the Eastern moon rise and fall in the night
The skyline of Queens and Brooklyn are my getting lost points
Reflecting in the East river
Williamsburg bridge just South
Queensboro bridge just North
In the distance; Throgs Neck Bridge,
or, was it the Whitestone Bridge?
Definitely not the Triborough Bridge
-
Days and weeks and months and a year of planning
Of preparation and uncertainty
Of clarification and research
Of medical exams and tests
-
Lesson learned
You can fall in love with someone even more
-
The hardest part
Seeing her on the gurney being wheeled away
Departing when she was alone most
And there was nothing I could do
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.18.10.34.00@424E34NYC
The Night Before
Tidy up belongings
Yesterday’s effort makes tomorrow easier
Organize everything perfectly
Preparation eases the pain
Tie up loose ends
Acknowledgment yields arrangements
Reckon with possibilities
Covenanting with the facts
Planning makes it palpable
Enjoy laughter
Dream of travels
Search for cottages
Savor the last great feast
Sleep like my angel savior
Pack up your bags
The moon dismantles the sun
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.17.20.00.00@130NYC
Hellscape
Oh Fuck
Billy the goat
Revisions and compulsions
No clear directions or asks or wanted needs
Just mysterious disheveled thoughts
Scattered brains
Spewed details
No real reasons
Tight deadlines
And tight lips
Spreading lies
And point of concepts
All the way until conception
Comprehension
Follow inception
Coded and caddled
Last month’s communication
Sacrificial communion
CHRIST
I’m not religious
But fuck this and fuck that
Hellscape
Wild time in and wild time out
Day of work, bleed the day
Tectonic Titantic
Tyrant transmitted
Disregarded forfeited
Salty tears
No god on my plate
Commiserate
Contemplate
Now I’ve met my fate
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.14.17.01.01@130BklynNYC
Clean Colleen
Ice cream delights
Cold warm nights
Eyes of brown, eyes of green
Beautiful to be seen
The best part
Glimmering shine
She was mine
Slippery wet
A nighttime pet
Goosebumps out
Orgasms no doubt
Clean Colleen got clean
She washed her hair
She washed her face
She washed her arms
She washed her legs
She washed her hands
She washed her feet
She washed her back
She washed her breasts
She washed her neck
She washed her inner thighs
She washed her ass
Clean Colleen got forever clean
Slippery wet - wet wet wet
Flowing down
Soapy bubbles
Suds cascading
Glistening temptress
Towel dropping to the floor
Wet marks beneath her feet
Clean Colleen
Climax machine
It’s time to reconvene
Memories so obscene
Another round so keen
As witness this libertine
See her on the big screen
She took care of her hygiene
Forever wishes to be between
No worries about vegan protein
Smoothies made from kale green
Floating around on clouds filled with dopamine
Clean Colleen got clean
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.09.13.00.00@QNYC
Forbidden Resistance
Can’t figure out a way
Can’t make it right
Can’t find the logistical method
With all the data
And all the information
With all the calculations
And permutations
No matter the pivot
Or declared watershed
No matter the fork in the road
Still can’t make it right
With all the facts
And all the intelligence
With all the reports
And documentation
Print out the maps
List out the directions
Unroll the blueprint
Find the X marking the spot
Still can’t make it right
It’s forbidden
Certainly Prohibited
And overwhelmingly banned
-
A national disapproval
A catastrophe of conviction
Unauthorized doubtless
-
And highly impermissible
Exceptionally Improper
And the grandiose epic taboo
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.04.16.44.40@130BklynNYC
Pills & Bills
Pills & Bills
and
Bills & Pills
Payments and Fees
Checks and Balances
Stock Markets Up
Stock Markets Down
Checking Savings Credit Cards
Medications Liquids Tablets Capsules
Once a Day, Twice a Day
Over the Counter, Under the Counter
Paid on time
Interest
Cash Electronic Check
Daily Monthly
Bonds and Stocks and Mutual Funds
Dividends and CDS and 401ks
Investments
Crypto Bitcoin
Migraine
Swallow
Take One, Take Two
White Ones, Orange Ones, Brown Ones, Green Ones, Yellow Ones
Painful Costs
Costly Relief
Electrical Shocks
Scalp Needles
Vein Needles
Pumped, Pampered, Stripped, Strapped
Pills & Bills
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.01.02.11.54.07@130BklynNYC
The Last 20 Minutes
The last 20 minutes is always the toughest and easiest
Draw
Return
When you get down to 20 you split the time into 10, or, 4 blocks of 5.
Soon you’ll get down to 18.
You’ll think of blocks of 9, but really you are hoping to get to 15 as quickly as possible.
When you get down to 15 minutes you think of 3 blocks of 5 but really you dream of 12 minutes.
When you get down to 12 minutes you think about how the hour or hour and half before that seemed to maybe go quickly.
And then you think of 2 blocks of 6 and you think about how close you are to the 10 minute marker.
When you arrive at 10 minutes you know the end is near and wait for 8 minutes.
When 8 comes you think of 2 blocks of 4 or 4 blocks of 2.
At 6 minutes you think of 3 and 3.
When you get to 5, you once again feel that this was pretty easy once again.
4 minutes is one of the magic numbers.
Just 2 blocks of 2.
3 you don’t think about and when you get to 2 minutes you know it may suddenly change to 3 minutes because of the clearing of the chamber.
2 minutes.
Finally at 1 minute you guess how many times you’ll need to draw and return until you’re all done.
You’re all done.
People live.
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.01.01.10.00.00@30FlatbushBklynNYC
Lords Valley, Dingmans Ferry
55,
60,
65,
70,
75 miles per hour
Hitting the gas
Looking in the rear view mirror
Side view
Objects in mirror are closer than they appear
Running like an outlaw
Like a gang leader from yesterday
Robbing stagecoaches
Hands up at the bank
Locomotive halted
She spun around
Like a spider mother in her web
Creep down the staircase to the basement
Nothing but the faceless and forgotten
Skin so intricately removed
Forgot the prints
And had a driving pint
Draw the curtains
Pick up the mail
Close the refrigerator door
Plow the driveway
I kept my foot on the pedal
No looking back
Speed set steady
Remembering shady lane yesterday
Buried
Excavated up at the range
Quarter past eight
Officer knocked at the door
I once was a murderer
Now I’m clean of my sins
Admitted in writing
Innocent like a naked boy frolicking on the hillside
Exit here, make a left turn
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.12.26.13.00.12.12@739PA
Nuclear Cock
LOOK HOW BIG I AM!
Look at my COCK!
Look how big I am!
Look at my Cock!
–
I’m big.
I’m bulging
I’m huge
My cock is so big
It’s so thick
It’s so fat
It’s so hard
It’s my throbbing thick cock!
–
LOOK HOW BIG I AM!
Look at my COCK!
Look how big I am!
Look at my Cock!
–
I’m purple and veiny
I’m hard as a rock
I’m about to bust a creamy hot load
My cock is so big
It’s so hefty
It’s so firm
It’s so massive
It’s my throbbing thick cock!
–
LOOK HOW BIG I AM!
Look at my COCK!
Look how big I am!
Look at my Cock!
–
I’m mighty full of girth
I’m a donkey cock
I’m a monster cock
My cock is so big
It’s so stiff
It’s so warm
It’s so pulsing
It’s my throbbing thick cock!
–
LOOK HOW BIG I AM!
Look at my COCK!
Look how big I am!
Look at my Cock!
–
It’s my big
NUCLEAR COCK!
© 2024 David Greg Harth
June 27, 2006 9:54:25AM
September 29, 2010 22:04:16PM
October 25, 2012 23:22:11PM
December 22, 2024 6:43:59AM
NYC
Ghost
Propositions granted
Doors ajar
Quiet spaces invaded
Clean shaven secrets
Bermuda triangles
Beneath short skirts
Carried books
Library late
Fell asleep
Upstairs bangers
Fish & Chips
Yesterday’s news
Language for beginners
Fables for lovers
Apple pie
Spunk face
Ticket for the amusement park
Lighting rod for the cancellation
Slept tight
Twisted twilight turn
Breakfast sausage
Devil eyes
Times Square shuffle
Neuro twelve society
Street divorce
Back seat revolver
Tomorrow’s today
Couldn’t believe or hang up the phone
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.12.21.21.52.44@130BklynNYC
Rape
It was a similar feeling
I imagine
To the peeling of roadkill off the pavement
Not fresh roadkill
Not even yesterday’s roadkill
But perhaps from a few days prior
Not that anyone would peel roadkill from the pavement
But I’m just trying to paint a picture in your head
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.12.20.20.03.00@BklynBridgeNYC
Filling Time. Filling Space. Filling Up.
Filling time and filling space and filling up.
Fill you inside and fill up the gasoline.
Fill up your mind and pack up the hide.
Pitch the tent and find the nest.
Hunt around back and turn up front.
Periods on ends and period pieces and periods between.
Giving and gave.
Forgotten glory.
Grievances and graves.
Satellites and clusters of lights.
Back seat lovers and motion in the ocean.
No errors and no exclamations.
No more fears and no more revolutions.
Piece by piece.
Cut the cloth.
Spread is spread.
Welcome to my night bed.
© 2024 David Greg Harth
2024.11.09.22.00.00@130BklynNYC
Suicide Registration
I stood up
Walked out of the classroom
I was frustrated
This was not the class I signed up for
This was not the professor I hoped to learn from
I went to the administration office
I sought clarification
And then I realized
I did not register for Suicide
I registered for something else
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.12.04.22.22.51@130BklynNYC
Paralyzed
I’m ready
Ready to quit
Ready to leave
Ready to resign
Ready to depart
Ready to vacate
Ready to abandon
Ready to surrender
Time to accept this void
Society will continue without me
No company can make it easier
No love can ease the pain
My eye sight is leaving me
Blinded to the truth
I am paralyzed
With the thought
Of killing myself
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.12.04.17.07.00@130BklynNYC
Shadows
Running out of time
Can’t compete against this current
Can’t win against this tide
Can’t keep my head over water
Can’t recover
Can’t forget
And
Can’t remain
So remember my strength
Remember I tried
Remember my name
And
Remember my epic dream
I put you aside
To surrender to love
I lost what I once had
But gained so much more
And
The darkness ate me alive
I got buried
Beneath the great depression
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.12.01.16.17.00@130BklynNYC
My Favorite Sounds
Here is a short list of some of my favorite sounds:
–
Rain on metal (Rain on a metal roof or car hood or window air conditioner)
Lawn mower / mowing of a lawn
Gravel roads / footsteps on a gravel road or a moving car’s tires slowly moving on gravel road
Children on a playground / children’s laughter while playing on a playground or in a swimming pool
Subway rushing through a tunnel, not at the station, but when the subway is traveling through the depths of a tunnel
My cat’s purr
Crickets chirping in the dark night
The systematic rhythmic beeps in a hospital
Trees swaying in the wind after a storm at dusk
Rustle of leaves
An oscillating fan
The sound of a crackling (controlled) fire. Like a fire in a fireplace or fire pit.
Wind chimes; especially during a sunlit afternoon with temperature around 70F and especially when lightly napping
A snowplow plowing snow on the street at night
Church bells ringing in the distance
The Muslim call to prayer over an audio system
Howling wind at night outside a window
Birds greeting the day with songs just before dawn
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.11.13.09.47.00@130BklynNYC
She Came Inside
Pry
Pull
Pick
Peel
Prod
Plow
Push
Poke
Pluck
Probe
Pierce
Prompt
Puncture
Permeate
Penetrate
Emancipate
Evacuate
Excavate
Exorcism
Exfoliate
Extrude
Escape
Extract
Egress
Elude
Expel
Eject
Evict
Exit
Infiltrate
Intrude
Invade
Inject
Assault
Attack
Access
Autopsy
Sneak
& Peak
Trespass
Pass
Paassssssst…
Pssst…..
Psss….
–
Entrance
–
She’s going inside
And inside she went
I opened wide
And she came inside
© 2024 David Greg Harth
24.11.07.09.45.48@130BklynNYC
I Love Your Disaster
Your disaster is a hurricane
Twirling fiercely inside you
With untamable winds that refuse to rest
You birth calm out of chaos
Your disaster is a wildfire
Furious and free, shining bright in the night
Always burning without fear of going out
You shed light in forever darkness
Your disaster is a flood
Filling all dusty plains and dry deserts
With midnight visions and journey dreams
You bring beauty out of loss
Your disaster is a volcano
With explosive rage of molten rock
Shooting and seeping and penetrating
You drape your heart around new growth
Your disaster is a landslide
Aborting trees from their roots
Bequeathing paths of destruction down mountains
You conquer previous footsteps with optimism
Your disaster is an avalanche
Denying to obey gravity
Turning echoing canyons into whisperings graves
You keep serenity to hidden tempers
Your disaster is a tornado
Erasing shadows from the horizon
Catapulting life across valleys of death
You rotate the righteousness with empathy
Your disaster is an earthquake
Raging tremors crack to reveal weaknesses
Refusing resistance from the toughest structures
You always end with reconstruction generously
Your disaster is a tsunami
Torturing the unsuspecting innocent
With fury and rampage crashing upon the shore
You erase pain from solitary abyss
Your disaster is a blizzard
Blinding routes of egress
Icing and freezing without retribution
You bring children guided hope about tomorrow
Your disaster is a pandemic
Breeching agreements among the swan songs of the living
Challenging reasoning of the educated
You infect worldly ideas uninvited
Your disaster is war
Catastrophic at the very core
Edges and cults and riches and ideas
You shake disillusion aside with executed harmony
© 2024 David Greg Harth
2024.11.01.17.08.42@1000MountainRestRdNewPaltzNY (Mohonk Mountain House)
2024.09.15.22.00.00@130Bklyn